Tuesday, December 07, 2004

I tricked with a Fat Person!

Fat people who can't afford Liposuction are the reviled scum of society. We can learn this by reading the New York Times and by watching Oprah. While surveying the litter next to the bed of an obese person, all the signs of self loathing are there: empty bottles of Corti-Slim, empty jars of peanut butter, diuretics, suppositories, Powerbars, and crumpled up Kleenex. Fat people cry. They cry because no one loves them. They cry because they can't ever be loved.

This evening, I was driven crazy by my urges and needed to release some profound energy, and so I decided to let the little rowboat cruise around til dawn, and as I was walking out of Zabars, I locked eyes with a VERY handsome man who was built like a football player--and then some. Man oh man, he was as hot as can be. I know we’re not supposed to pay any attention to fat people, but I could not help myself.

I was turned on by his commanding resonant voice as he said, “hello.” Seduced by his swarthy flannel shirt and his manly swagger, I knew I had to bite the pillow for him. By the time we made it to his apartment, 2 blocks away, I was in love and playin for keeps, gyrating on a high of naked sweaty machismo, tears, and Tanqueray 10. He manhandled my flesh with brute force and rough, calloused hands until I didn't know who I was. And yes, he had a BEER GUT.

When he pressed me close up against all of his abundance, it made me feel safe. He was sexy and masculine and he turned me on, so I didn’t care if he was fat. But just for good measure, I’m not going to tell anybody about this incident, lest people get the wrong impression.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a complete whore you are! Shame on you for wrecking a home!!

12:57 AM  

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