Ruth Anne, Matt's Mother in Indianapolis.

"I'm feeling a little sick and can't go on talking to you. Bud, you need some serious help. I feel nothing but pity for you. Casual sex, friends with benefits, etc. With AIDS now in it's 20+ years, I would think that gays would know better. Hope they are not all like you and my son. I know many and they are NOT like you."

I thanked her for her pity, because I'll take it whenever it comes my way, but her comments were wholly inappropriate and completely misguided. "I'm not like Matt. I get tested regularly, and use condoms everytime I have sex. Every single time, Lady," is what I said in retaliation. When he died, Matt's death bed request was for me to break the news to his Mother, and now I see this request was nothing I'd ever force on any of my friends. I was really irritated by her, and didn’t remember to censor myself, but she started yelling at me before I ever mentioned he was dead.

"I'm not talking about safe sex, I'm talking about the very act itself!" she continued. "I think you should consider yourself
very lucky. But luck often runs out. Safe sex is a joke, and everyone knows that. The fact that you test yourself frequently shows you realize that no matter how safe you think you are, you are really not. AIDS would have went away a long time ago if you fags just stuck to one partner or really practiced safe sex!"

I cautioned her against being judgmental and harsh. "It seems these days that every time I or someone else says something that is our good Christian opinion, and our opinion only, we are deemed judgemental." "I have faith in what the Bible teaches me, and all of you gays need to convert!" She fumed. There was no stopping her.

I needed to give her the information on Matt's hotel in Palm Springs, but she wouldn't listen to me. She was HISSING. I just hung up, but that was stupid because Matt's body is in that hotel room, and now I'll have to call her back again.