Officer, I 'd like some help.

This afternoon, on my way to an audition, my car decided to run out of gas. I don't know much about cars, and this is my first experience with actually owning a car. I also pride myself on never never needing a car in NYC. Lucky me. It never occurred to me that I'd learn a hard lesson about keeping your car gassed up. A light was supposed to come on to warn me that I was running low, but nothing of the sort happened. My parents always maintained the cars that I drove when I was a kid. That is my best excuse, shameful as it is. Before I knew what was happening, the last ounce of gas had gone through the car and I began floating with the other cars in a 60 mph freeway wind. I felt weightless in a roller coaster car sorta way. Awesome.

Until I pulled to the side of the freeway. I chose the middle section since it was closest to the lane I was driving in. I sat in my car for quite awhile, because i didn't have a cell phone and I didn't know what to do. I noticed the freeway was not very busy, so I got out and crossed it, waiting for a suitable gap in traffic, of course. I didn't know what else to do. I was stranded on one side of the freeway, and the "call for help boxes" were located on the other side.

Soon, after I called them from the Help Box Side, Ponch and Jon drove up to my abandoned auto on the other side, and a cop car pulled up to me on my side. They frisked me and threw me into the back of their car. "You stole this car from someone." I told him that was nonsense, and offered to show that my id matched the proof of ownership on my title, but he didn't want to hear of it, especially since I had crossed the freeway. None of them were able to do anything but act intimidating, and it is a damn shame that none of them were even remotely attractive like in all the pornos. They couldn't get over the fact that I didn't have a cellphone with me, and that I crossed the freeway because I was stranded on a side without a callbox. They also weren't interested in concrete proof that I had owned the car.

They started removing the license plate from my vehicle, when I finally insisted they were making an arrogant mistake. I convinced him to call the dispatcher once more to verify my license plate numbers, and this time, he discovered both he and the dispacher had a 'miscommunication.' The car had belonged to me the entire time and everything was legit.

He was finally convinced that I wasn't a car thief, but he never apologized to me.