Stock your medicine chest like a Street Whore!

Feeling randy from the equity monitor’s grope in the men’s room after an early morning audition, I came home and hopped onto www.lonelywhoresm4m.com to find myself a true love for a couple hours. I hit paydirt too, but not the way you'd think.

As I was in the bathroom washing his semen out of my chest hair, I noticed his medicine cabinet was slightly open. Hoping for a rare glimpse into his personal life, I locked the bathroom door so I could rifle through his belongings in privacy, paying particular attention for any red flag medications like Anusol or Zovirax. I had to work fast so he wouldn't get suspicious. After all, how long does it take to swab off after a quickie? Not longer than 3 minutes, I determined. I raped his pharmeceuticals chest faster than a Chelsea boy could accomodate a traffic cone up the ass.

JACKPOT! Retin-a! Revlon tweezers (the expensive, precision kind!) Cialis: better than viagra! Estee Lauder Micro Targeted Skin Gel! La Prairie under eye creme! Luckily, I hadn't gotten completely undressed for this guy (the sex didn't last long enough) so I stuffed it all into my pockets. Because I was feeling charitable, I gave him the, "wow man, you're good...you ought to give lessons" routine as I walked out of his house. He was sitting in his living room with his head turned out the window, which allowed me a suspicion-free exit. He never even noticed the excess protuberances.

Now my skin is taut, my stray hairs are plucked, my cock gets hard on MY TERMS ("Relax and Take your time with Cialis!") and I've eradicated the puffyness from under my eyes. Theivery? Nope. Restitution? Yes. Online, he assured me that he was hot and VGL and could last forever, but when we met up in person, he was only semi-VGL, horrible in bed, and a premature ejaculator. Just because he didn't fulfill his terms of the agreement does not mean that I have to leave unsatisfied AND empty handed.


Now my skin is taut, my stray hairs are plucked, the cock gets hard on MY TERMS ("Relax and Take your time with Cialis!") and I've eradicated puffyness from under my eyes. Theivery? Nope. Restitution? Yes. Before we did the deed, he assured me that he was hot and VGL and could last forever, but he was only semi-VGL and horrible in bed, and a premature ejaculator! Because he didn't fulfill his terms of the agreement does not mean that I have to leave unsatisfied AND empty handed.

I was simply going after the justice that I so richly deserved.