What a Relationship Isn't

I'm going to settle down when my body feels a logical and organic pull towards someone who will present himself to me when I least expect it. A long term relationship is not a prescription to cure lonliness. I have so much work cut out for myself at the present, artistically and personally, it will be many years before will even begin to feel lonesome, which, incidentally, is a lot different than lonely.

Just because I have really great sex with someone does not mean I should begin dating them. The gay community's interpretation of dating is a notion that frightens me, because in my life, I've always felt rather odd referring to another man as my boyfriend. My past boyfriends have all felt like a pair of ill-fitting Banana Republic trousers. I have guy friends. Friends. Some of them, I'd like to make my full time partners, but all I have in common with them is good sex, so what would be the point?

I am not particularly commitment phobic. I'm not. But I'm extremely wary of gay guys who try to fashion their relationships with one another the way they watched Mom and Dad's marriage unfold. Men are men. Two men getting together is chemically different than a man and a woman getting together, but gay guys have no blueprints or examples to follow, and a lot of them are not making wise choices when getting into relationships, it would seem. As evidenced by 3 recent 'dating' proposals from guys that I thought were one night stands.

Forcing someone into a commitment is a lot different than earning one the hard way, and not too many of these LTRS flourish beyond the one year mark, I'm afraid. Just like all those str8 people who keep getting married and then divorced--I've seen it all--and getting involved with someone addicted to having a boyfriend is such a waste of time and energy. Str8 guys are not the only ones who enjoy belching and farting and pissing in front of each other and putting their feet up on the coffeetable. That doesn't assume my coffee table isn't Huffman Koos, of course, but I want to be in the company of a guy who is a guy, not someone who will turn into a raving, delusional bitch and get apeshit territorial on me just cuz I happen to be a great fuck.

Prowess is both a blessing and a curse, that's for sure. But in our quest for equal rights to marry one another, the scope and focus of our gayness is being pre-packaged into pre-digested multivitamins which seek to obliterate all forms of original thought from our Planet, and that doesn't make me very happy.