Never Trust Your Agent

Milli Barnstable lunches are always exciting. She's awfully young to have so much power, yet everybody is always wondering if she's still getting kick-backs from schtupping that guy at Dreamworks in 2004. Her assistant dresses in a suit every day, and he gets yelled at a lot, but he has a crush on me, so I only see his terrific smile. A lunch date with Millie means I live life in the fast lane with a vicious slut for an entire afternoon, and that is priceless.

In January, I let her do a line of coke in my car parked at a meter in front of the Ivy. She asked permission first because she thinks nobody knows about her drug problem, and I get off on our addiction-induced bond of trust. She really is a cunt, but I admire her pluck. In February we had lunch at Koi where, this time, she did a line of coke with a goofball chaser on the back of the ladies toilet, and then let fly that she wanted to sleep with me. I have to admit all of this turns me on. Especially because she likes to sit in the backseat when I drive. What a whore.