wow what happened? you were really hot last night.

How in the world could I have let this disgusting piece of horseflesh spend the night? He drooled all over my pillow and hogged the covers the entire night. I didn't much care for the clucking chicken noises he made in his sleep either. It was all like a bad dream. The worst thing a lonely slut like me needs to hear is, "I'm a little tired bro, can I just crash here?" Of course I’ll say yes.

But I swear to God he looked a lot better last night after all those Jameson and Cokes with lime. By the cold and lonely morning light, however, he was just a greasy fat slob who made even Ralph Furley seem like an Adonis.